The Third Space: A Five-Minute Reset Between Work and Family
Mums and dads, I’m about to share something that genuinely changed the way I move from work into family time.
It’s simple.
It takes only a few minutes.
And I couldn’t believe I had missed it for so many years.
It’s called:
The Third Space.
What is the Third Space?
You have work mode.
You have home mode.
The Third Space is the intentional pause between them.
Australian researcher and speaker Dr Adam Fraser describes it as the transition between one role or interaction and the next. His framework uses three stages: reflect, rest and reset.
The aim is not to erase a difficult day.
It is to process it enough that the people who matter most don’t automatically receive whatever energy is left over.
Why parents need a transition
Before I learned about this idea, I could finish work and walk straight into the loudest hour of family life.
Dinner needed making.
Someone was upset.
Someone else had lost the one toy they suddenly could not live without.
And although I had physically left work, my mind was still there—replaying a problem, finishing a conversation or mentally writing tomorrow’s list.
My family didn’t need a flawless version of me.
But they did need me to arrive.
The three-step reset
1. Reflect
Briefly look back over the day.
What went well?
What was difficult?
Is there anything you need to write down so your brain can stop holding it?
2. Rest
Create a short pause with no new input.
It could be driving the final five minutes in silence, walking around the block, taking a shower or sitting in the car for three deep breaths.
The ritual matters less than the interruption.
3. Reset
Ask yourself:
“Who do I want to be in the next space?”
Not: “How do I want everyone else to behave?”
For me, the answer might be patient, playful or simply present.
What my Third Space looks like
One executive Dr Fraser spoke about created an entrance that led directly to his bedroom so he could shower and change before entering family mode.
I cannot build a new entrance into our house.
We rent. 🤣
But I can take five quiet minutes in my office with my devices off.
I let my mind process the unfinished bits of work.
I write down anything I need for tomorrow.
Then I step out of the office and into dinner time with a little more intention.
Try it this week
Choose one transition you make regularly:
- work to home;
- school drop-off to work;
- the children’s bedtime to couple time; or
- a stressful phone call back into family life.
Give yourself five minutes to reflect, rest and reset.
You won’t always walk through the door perfectly calm.
But even a small pause can help you become more deliberate about the version of yourself who enters.
You can learn more about the original Third Space framework from Dr Adam Fraser.
Much gratitude and always cheering you on,
Jeremy Jones
Dad Certified
Adapted from an update originally shared with Dad Certified subscribers on 5 November 2025.