The Preschool Toilet… 

- A Valentine’s Day Tale

“This is the best ______ ever!”

My wife, Larissa, exclaimed!

    No, it’s not what you think!

    NO, not that either!

    In fact I bet you can’t guess
      what she was talking about!

    But, before I say what
      she WAS talking about, let me
      start from the beginning…

It was the afternoon of...

Valentine’s Day

(yes, just two days ago!)…

And I felt  t e r r i b l e…

I had been so FLAT OUT with all our
  Valentine’s Day marketing
  efforts over the last few weeks,
  that I hadn’t yet planned anything!

HOW IRONIC!

BUT, I had the solution!

I called out to my 2yo son…

“Hey Silas! (pronounced S-eye-las) Can
  you help me with something”!?

While not yet quite as helpful as my
  3yo son (Mal), Silas was
  the only option around - and
  is THE BEST hype man you’ve ever met!

Larissa had just left to pick up Mal
  from preschool, and Silas and I had
  about 30 mins to plan the
  most INCREDIBLE “Staying In”
  Valentine’s Date Night EVER!

NO PRESSURE

“Pick a card, any card”. I called to Silas
  with just a hint of desperation
  as he RAN into my home office.

(I’ve heard 2 year olds have the ability to walk
  but am yet to witness this
  rare phenomenon).

I had the Staying In Date Night Idea deck
  fanned out ready for him to choose from.

His face lit up with excitement!

Of course, he had no idea what this
  meant but Silas LOVES surprises.

    SIDE STORY:
    While helping my sister-in-law unwrap
      mountains of bridal shower gifts the other
      weekend, Silas eagerly ripped off the
      golden ribbon and fancy wrapping paper
      from a large, cube-shaped gift…

“WHOOOAAAAAA!!!!”

    He shouted out as he saw
      what was underneath.

    It was a large, plain
      white box with absolutely
      ZERO text or images.

     As I said: ‘best hype man you’ve ever met!’

Silas ecstatically picked this card:

Ah, perfect!

An idea started to form.

I relaxed into my chair

I began to feel...

NOT so  t e r r i b l e...

Possibly, even, EXCITED!

BUT!

This was

Valentine’s Day

afterall, surely we could do better!

“Pick another!” I told Silas.

Just as excited as the first time, Silas
  picked another card!

And then we did it all over again!

OH BABY A TRIPLE!

It was going to be a GOOD night, I could
  feel it!

A LiTtLe wHiLe LaTeR

Our Staying In Date Night was well underway…

Who would have thought that
  the Preschool toilet was partly to thank?

Oh, you want context, do you?

FINE

It's why you opened this email, isn't it?

"What's a Preschool toilet got to do
  with Valentine's Day, Jeremy!?"
  You ask.

Time to end the suspense...

So Larissa is one of those people
  who used hand sanitiser before
  it was cool.

Yes, pre 2020!

So of course, the first time Mal uses the
  toilet at Preschool, he’s ordered to have
  a shower AS SOON as he gets home.

I’m sure it’s just a one-time thing, but who
  can blame her!?

I’ve never seen the Preschool toilet but
  I’m sure it’s got more unsanitary splashes
  and sprays than a Macca’s party room!

Well, due to that pre-dinner shower… 

(of course, Silas wanted one too)

The time after dinnertime went
  a WHOLE lot more smoothly than normal!

WTF!

Jeremy have you been keeping this
  secret parenting hack from me!?

No..?

Well,
  you're welcome...

I actually got the boys to bed without complaint and

EARLY!?

...

If you can't tell,
  I'm still in shock...

Anyway, neither Larissa or I were
  hungry yet, so we (thanks to card #2)
  played a Board Game together to

PASS THE TIME…?

Such a strange feeling…

To have SPARE time as a parent.

I then set to work preparing Silas’ #1 pick for us...

Before long I walked into the bedroom where we had “Breakfast In Bed” for dinner!

“This is the best bacon and egg roll ever!”

My wife, Larissa, exclaimed!

See, I told you, you wouldn’t guess it!

Now, I don’t mean to brag, but I make a MEAN Weedrat Stew!

Oh, I mean Bacon and Egg Roll.

I find weedrat stew a bit 
  chewy.

(Eat your heart out, Shrek)

Now I’m sure you’re wondering what our last card was…

Can you guess from the photos in our 
  date night diary entry:

No, we weren’t recreating a horror movie!

(My least favourite movie genre btw).

It was the “At Home Day Spa” card.

And Larissa loved it!

Thank you, to whoever designed and
  created the Date Night Diary - Box Set!

It came in SOO handy for me
  this Valentine’s Day!

Oh, wait…

That’s US! Larissa and I made that!

For US! And for YOU TOO!

That’s why we know it’s soo good and that
  it actually works!

We designed it for ourselves!

Parents of young kids in
  the thick of parenting.

JUST LIKE YOU!

If you didn’t pick up a
  Date Night Diary - Box Set for
  Valentine’s Day this year.

But now, you wish you had.

No stress, it’s not too late!

You can get one here >
https://dadcertified.store/products/date-night-diary-box-set

And if you DID get one…

YOU'RE A LEGEND!

In fact, we have too many left in stock!

Which means, either I made a logistical mistake, or you forgot to order one!

100% it was you who forgot to order one.

But GOOD NEWS!

It’s not too late to get one before your next Date Night!

They make recording your Date Nights SOOO easy, not to mention FUN!

Don’t believe me?

Believe these LEGENDS: